From Self to Christ

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I'm tired of waiting on God?"

Or maybe it sounded more like: "It's not fair that others live the way they do and my prayers still go unanswered. Why did this happen to me?"

If you've been there, you're not alone. And if you're being honest, you've probably visited that place more than once.

🌱

Our circumstances are extremely real. They can hurt us. They can enlighten us. And whether we invite them to or not, they will shape the way we experience the many moments of this life. The loss. The waiting. The disappointment. The unexpected. All of it becomes part of our story and if we're not careful, all of it can become the lens through which we see everything.

As we grow and hit milestones in life, our external world also quietly shapes our internal one. Think about a child navigating middle school, absorbing the behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs of everyone around them, and bringing all of that home without even realizing it. Parents sometimes look at their child and wonder, "where did that come from?" The truth is, it came from everywhere. From what they watched, who they sat next to, what they heard in the hallways. That's how powerful our environment is. That's how quietly influence works.

And we are no different as adults. We absorb too.

🌱

We live in a world that loudly promotes self-help. Build yourself. Trust yourself. Bet on yourself. And for a long time, I was fully invested in that world (perhaps more than I'd like to admit).

It wasn't until my mother passed, seven years ago, that everything I had built around self began to collapse. Grief has a way of doing that. It strips away every system you've constructed and leaves you standing in the rubble of what you thought was enough. And what I found in that rubble was this: I am not enough on my own. I simply cannot be.

But somewhere in the pain, a truth I had always known finally took root in me:

When I can't: God can.

When I can: God also can.

When I won't: God will.

Humbly surrendering to Him didn't make the grief disappear. But it kept me from drowning in it.

🌱

Dr. Charles Stanley from In Touch Ministries, has taught that a focus on "me" is rooted in our sinful nature and often leads to anxiety, disobedience, and missed opportunities for God's best. He also has said that a "me-first" attitude is actually a "me-last" path leading not to fulfillment, but to a deeper, quieter kind of emptiness (that can build over time). And isn't that true? The more we chase ourselves, the more we seem to lose ourselves.

This is why Scripture doesn't just suggest we shift our gaze, it calls us to it.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Fix your eyes. Not on your circumstances. Not on what others have or haven't done. Not on what hasn't come through yet. Fix them on Jesus.

And Romans 8:29 reminds us why this matters so deeply: "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."

God's purpose for your life was never simply to make you comfortable. It was to make you more like Christ. Every season, even the painful ones, is working toward that end. The waiting isn't wasted. The hard places aren't abandoned. They are formation.

🌱

The shift from self to Christ isn't a one-time decision. It's a daily, sometimes hourly, returning. It's catching yourself mid-spiral and choosing to look up. It's releasing the grip on what you think should be happening and trusting the One who holds what actually is.

You were never meant to carry this life alone. You were never meant to be the center of it either. There is so much rest available to you when you step out of the middle and let Christ take His rightful place there.

The fog lifts when we stop staring at ourselves and start fixing our gaze on Him.

A Practical Exercise: Mind-Heart-Spirit Mapping™

This is a simple reflection practice you can return to anytime you feel yourself drifting back toward self-centeredness. Find a quiet moment, grab your journal, and work through each area honestly.

Mind: What am I telling myself? Write down the thoughts that have been loudest lately. Then ask: Are these thoughts centered on my circumstances, my fears, or my limitations or are they anchored in who God says He is and what He says about me? Bring each anxious thought to Him. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Heart: What am I feeling, and what is it connected to? Name the emotions without judgment. Frustration. Grief. Envy. Impatience. Loneliness. Now ask: What unmet expectation or unhealed wound is this emotion pointing to? Bring it to God in prayer in full honesty. He can handle all of it.

Spirit: Where is my posture before God right now? This is the deepest layer. Ask yourself: Am I surrendered or am I striving? Am I trusting or am I trying to control? Spend a few minutes in stillness not asking for anything, just being present with Him. Let your spirit remember that you belong to Someone greater than your greatest problem.

The goal isn't perfection in this practice. The goal is return. Come back to it. Come back to Him. Again and again.

That is the daily journey from self, to Christ.

A note of care: While this post invites you to root yourself in Christ, please know that many of life's circumstances carry a weight that also calls for professional support. Seeking therapy or counseling is not a lack of faith, it is wisdom. God works through people too, and there is no shame in reaching out to a licensed therapist or counselor who can walk alongside you in a deeper way. You deserve both spiritual grounding and professional care.

With love and kindness,

Vanessa 🌱